As a first-time mom, there are many ups and downs. But yesterday was the worst day of all.
What happened:
Zakariya was in his pram. It was nap time (I put him in his pram during nap times to have him close by).
I was moving his pram back and forth (like i normally do) when all of a sudden his pram tipped over on its side, taking Zakariya down with it!!! I don't understand how or why it happened.
but it did..
I felt like the World's worst mother. Unworthy of my son's love.
He screamed and i screamed even louder. I didn't know if he was in pain or in shock of the whole thing, but i just wanted him out of the darn pram and into my arms. I screamed for help.
Rieta (our domestic) came rushing in followed by my gran, trying the best she could with her walking aid. Rieta had to take him out of my grip as my crying was making it harder for him to calm down. She tried to soothe him but every time he saw my crying face it just brought him back to crying again.
20 minutes later, and all was forgotten, by him at least. I, on the other hand, was such an emotional wreck that every time he smiled at me it brought me to tears again.
I wanted to take him to Red Cross Children's Hospital to get X-Rays done, full examination. but Rieta and my gran said it will be all right and that all kids fall at one stage in their lives.
I watched him like a hawk after that - right through the night, until this morning. you know, just in case his eyes started to roll back or him falling into a coma or any sign of internal bleeding.
He was such a trooper. My little soldier. He's so strong. I should give him more credit.
I learnt my lesson though. i will never let him fall on my watch ever again. I'm too paranoid and neurotic to ever let that happen again. He's going to stay by my side always. I was even considering putting him on my back and tying a towel around us. That's how Rieta held her little boy, I think i should too.
xxx
